There’s something to be said of the added confidence that having a plan in place, with all of the comforting confirmations. Having dates and times set, location locked down, and all of the prerequisite steps lined makes you feel I like you’re on top of everything and ready for whatever test comes along.
But the true test of faith and confidence comes when things don’t go exactly as planned.
Having just finished the 4 cycles of chemo, I was all geared up for the next step and ready to attach the transplant phase. The first step was to go in for a bunch of preliminary tests, including another bone marrow biopsy. Well, the biopsy results weren’t hat we wanted… turned out the cancer was still present at a percentage that was really high. The first round of chemo didn’t really work.
This meant that we needed to try again, using a different chemo regiment to attack things specific to the findings of the latest biopsy. This also meant that we’d need to delay the transplants until we know that the cancer is under control, and the previously set timeline is now in flux.
As Mike Tyson famously said, “Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.” For me, it wasn’t quite that brutal, but more of a gut punch. I didn’t feel the impact right away. However, I didn’t notice how much I’d lost my drive to get things done in spite of how I was feeling. Something about this hiccup in the plan allowed me to just lay back and fall into survival mode instead of fight mode.
On the flip side, if there’s a positive side to taking a punch, it’s that you learn how to take a punch and keep moving. So once we determined that we needed to move on to a third regimen to get a more consistent response, my only feeling was “Cool, let’s get it done”. This was just a bump in a road and nothing more, and just reminded me that the goal is right in front of me. The current regiment seems to be getting a consistent response this time, so we’re looking ever so much closer to getting to the transplant phase.
Just keep punching!